05 September 2010

something is missing

it's a relief because i'm home right now.it' a long journey with perdana,with the bad seat,with the pening-pening lalat and whatsoever,finally,kelantan,here i come!i love my home so much but since i'm sooo tired,just take a nap.but i'm not so sure if sleep for 5 hours is called nap?haha.i'm starving while waiting for the time to break fast.but everything is not like what i imagine before.i just leave home for a couple weeks and everything changed.cant describe more about that but i just can say that I WANT MY FAMILY back!why this ramadan is so different?serious i dont think i cant stand with this if it stay like this forever.i'm not a tough person.i easily cried when i feel burdened.i will laugh if i'm happy but now should i laugh?i'm waiting to come back from the 3rd ramadan and now that feeling has changed.i just need a shoulder to lie on.i just need a person to listen to me.i just need an advice to built my strength,i really need that now.this pain is so hard to endure but i know,Allah is testing me.Testing me to be a better person.to be a humble servant.i knew that ya Allah.i'll take this test calmly.guide me ya Rabb.

p/s:still hoping that everything will be like before although it's only MY hope.not US.

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